The two types of people

There are two types of people in this world: Apple fanatics and Google loyalists. These are proud and vocal supporters of the latest craze in electronics. In fact, if you’re ever feeling blue just jump online and search any mobile thread. The insults between the two, naturally written in MySpace prose, will make you laugh hard and long.

I myself am a Google man, but up until now, I’ve never known why. It’s not like I had owned an iPhone before. I have an old MacBook and an iPod Shuffle and I love them dearly. So why don’t I like the phone that changed “everything?”

To find out I had to scour back many years, back when I worked for an Australian telco. At the time Apple was launching their first gen iPhone. Customers travelled long and far for a phone that was, more often than not, out of stock. The lucky few who nabbed one acted as if they found the Golden ticket to Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory.

They modelled their phone and boasted its feature set. But back then, it couldn’t even send a picture message. Worse yet, a young iTunes governed its functions like an African dictator.

When you asked an Apple enthusiast why they liked the iPhone, they struggled to form sentences. Eventually they’d surmise “because it’s an Apple product.”

It didn’t matter its rivals had a better camera, offered free GPS and Bluetooth connectivity. Apple made it and they piss gold.

Apple’s phenomenon grew to unprecedented proportions. Newer, better iPhones hit the market and people camped outside their stores, praying there’d be enough stock. Come sunrise, the rowdy line—which enveloped blocks—would almost always spark a fight. In China they closed an Apple store for such a reason.

Then there’s the ridiculous lengths poor telco staff have to go through each time one of them is sold. “I’ll activate your phone for you. You want to transfer your contacts from a Samsung you say? Do you use iTunes yet? Well forget it, now you will, for everything!”

It doesn’t end once that’s over because the ongoing support is a bitch. “The screen is cracked you say? You bought it five minutes ago? Well Apple will have to swap it for a brand new one. Two weeks please.”

A career as a journalist has seen my relationship with Apple change. The other day I picked one up and I played with it for hours as I tried to shift my life onto it. The software is svelte. The design is, frankly, quite impressive. I could even appreciate Apple’s closed ecosystem.

So why did I ever hate the iPhone?

Because it brought the worst out of people. Owning an iPhone imparted a false sense of superiority on those who paid the extortionate prices. And that, that is why I put down the iPhone.

Fortunately the impending Samsung assault is seeing the badge tarnished and the resolve of fanatics weaken.

But now iOS 7 is coming out, which essentially is a theme for the software, and the fanboys are shining their teeth as they vie for another bite of the Apple. 

By Tony Ibrahim 

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